High conflict separations and divorce are the exception, not the rule. Changes in the law over the last 130 years have slowly but methodically attempted to reduce conflict points in separations and divorce. The common thread among all high conflict cases, is they involve high conflict people.
Most often high conflict people have high conflict divorces and separations. They can complicate simple issues. They can blow up simple disagreements to major disputes. They can make the separation so difficult that there is no other way to solve a problem than to fight everything in court or give up entirely.
Good advice for anyone in a high conflict divorce is to take a step back, get some counselling, and develop your own strategies for dealing with the conflict in a way that shields your child. It is the conflict between parents that harm children, not the divorce itself.
Bill Eddy is a lawyer and psychologist who authored several books on dealing with high conflict people that are a great resource if you are dealing with marital conflict or high conflict people. In his article, 7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During this Crisis, Eddy recommends to remind yourself “It’s not about me—it’s about the decision or plan we need to make.” If you take this advice you can keep your communications with a high conflict former partner solution driven.
Visit the High Conflict Institute Store for Bill Eddy’s books and resources.
If you have questions about a high conflict divorce or separation contact Windsor family law lawyers Mary Fox, Tanya McNevin or Thomas MacKay today by calling 519-259-1820. We serve clients in Windsor, Tecumseh, Lasalle, Essex, Leamington, Kingsville, Belle River, Lakeshore, and throughout southern Ontario.